my own personal manifesto

It’s difficult to write a page about yourself, since so much of me is yet to be determined. But this is what I do know: I want human connection and experiences. I want to hold someone. I want to listen. I want to understand. I want to observe. I want to write and create. I want to act. I want to be known and to feel it. I want to go to brunch and talk about meaningful things. I want to sit outside and smoke and think. I want to wear large glasses and read thick books. I want to try to sort out my shit. I want run and feel free. I want to learn how to love better. I want to actually find God in a church. I want to stop hating Christians. I want to drink coffee for breakfast and wine for dinner. I want to stop longing for a future that doesn’t exist. I want to stop longing for a version of myself that doesn’t exist. I want feel accomplished. I want to watch great films and discuss them. I want to go see plays and feel them. I want to learn monologues and songs. I want to play music. I want to sit, huddled in a blanket and watch the rain. I want to dance. I want to dance in the rain. I want to kiss in the rain. I want to listen to great music. I want to speak more spanish. I want to travel. I want to send postcards to those I miss. I want to play with children. I want to lay in bed with someone and just be. I want to smile more. I want to cry more. I want to have a history: a life. I want to find God in places I didn’t expect him to be. I want God to find me. I want to do good. I want to help. I want to work hard. I want to feel satisfied. I want to be myself. I want to find myself. I want to be a friend. I want to love and be loved.

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