The dawn breaks this morning; I can see a patch of blue sky out of northward facing window. As I sleepily roll over to check the time, I am hit with a wave of sadness: yes, I’ve dreamt of him again. This time my dream life, has decided to allow me the precious moments and conversations I’ve not actually received. What-could-have-beens and soaring hopes that only I have known, suddenly played out in my subconscious. As much as I try to shake it, the grief remains heavy in my soul.
The sorrow and broken dreams I carry as a daily burden are only able to cast aside in the presence of Another. The Other. Thinking about God doesn’t banish my fears. Comforting myself with “God knows” doesn’t quell my aching heart. But, an intimate experience with the Lord does. Because the truth is: He is near. My wandering heart has taken me so very far from the throne of God. I have demanded that I rule my life. Yet, the confession of these sins and the beseeching for peace and holiness, brings an intimacy that cannot be manufactured. It does not just bring a thought of the Holy. It cries out for an experience of the One who can redeem, scarify, and heal. I flip to the book the Psalms and read how God is my fortress and strength. This beautiful truth is printed all throughout the Scriptures, but it also tells me that my God is near. He is not a fortress from afar. He is a strength and refuge, here and now: in my room, with me. I can only be complete and healed in His presence.
The nearness of my God is good.